


Booger Tentacles and other Manners

by Icka M Chif (mischif)



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Aliens, Community: spook_me, Family, Gen, One Shot, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-26
Updated: 2011-10-26
Packaged: 2017-10-25 00:09:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/269443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mischif/pseuds/Icka%20M%20Chif
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Phineas always knows what's going on with his brother, Candace is always the last to know, and it isn't just Ferb's hair that's green. In other words, it's just a normal day in the Flynn-Fletcher household.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Booger Tentacles and other Manners

**Author's Note:**

> For the [](http://spook-me.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**spook_me**](http://spook-me.dreamwidth.org/) 2011 Fic-a-Thon. This year, I ended up with 'Tentacle Monster' as my prompt, along with [this cover](http://i879.photobucket.com/albums/ab353/spook_me/Spook%20Me%20Science%20Fiction%20Covers/SpookMe29.jpg). Since we've done variations of DC/MK with tentacles, decided to switch fandoms.  
>  Comedy/Fluff, although if it wasn't for Phineas being a [Cloud Cuckoo Lander](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CloudCuckooLander), it could easily be [Nightmare Fuel](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NightmareFuel).  
> 

"Um...." Candace made a disgusted face as she looked at her little brothers. "You've got something hanging out of your nose, Ferb."

Ferb crossed his eyes, attempting to see what it was around his large rectangular nose. Finally he just inhaled sharply, snorting the green dangling thing back into his sinuses.

"Okay, first off, ew." Candace wrinkled her nose. "And second, that wasn't a booger. That moved. Why did you have a tentacle coming out of your nose?"

Ferb, without changing expression, somehow managed to convey a quixotic blend of alarm and complete innocence on the topic of which Candace was talking about.

"Ferb's the last martian." Phineas explained with a shrug.

Ferb gave him an annoyed glare that Phineas ignored. "What? She was bound to find out sooner or later the way you've been shapeshifting in your sleep again." Phineas shrugged, waving his cereal spoon at his brother. "I've woken up twice this week with your tentacles in the aquarium trying to eat the fish, and once with you battling Perry for them. That's why I had to hang the blankets up to dry on Tuesday."

Ferb shifted in his seat, embarrassed.

"Wait." Candace held her hands up. "What? Ferb's an ALIEN?"

"Well, yeah." Phineas gave his sister a strange look, as if it should have been obvious.

Candace paused, giving her brother a peircing look in return. "I thought you said he wasn't an alien before." When Candace had stayed up all night watching the horror movie marathon and thought that Ferb was one of the invading space aliens.

"I thought you meant if Ferb was one of the body snatching invading space aliens." Phineas protested. "Which he's not. Dad's one too, you know. That's why Ferb's the last, at least until he has kids. Then they'll be the last."

One of Candace's eyes twitched. "Now I _know_ you're trying to pull my leg." She protested. "I've been to Mars. The Martians there didn't have ANY tentacles!" Although they _were_ green...

The wiggling green tentacle snuck out of Ferb's nostril again. He inhaled it back up, looking vaguely abashed.

"That's cause Ferb's from Mart, not Mars." Phineas said patiently. "It's a common misconception. Wrong limb of the galaxy though."

Candace glared at them in silence for a few seconds. Then she turned in her chair, facing the kitchen. "MOOOOMMMM!!!" She pointed at her brothers. "DID YOU KNOW FERB'S AN ALIEN?!"

"That's nice, dear." Their Mom called back. "As long as he doesn't leave slime trails all over the house, I really don't mind."

Ferb looked offended at the idea that he would leave a mess behind himself. Candace sputtered. Phineas just looked on in interest, continuing to eat his cereal.

"You only do that once." Dad commented absently as he passed them, tying a tie around his neck as he walked towards the kitchen. "And then she never lets you live it down. I had to tell her it was a cooking experiment gone awry. We're off to judge at the Antiquities Roadshow. You kids behave and we'll see you after five. Boys, mind your sister until then."

"Bye, Dad." Phineas waved. "Have fun!"

"Oh, I hope to." Dad smiled and waved, obviously excited about today's activities.

"Later, Kids!" Mom shouted. "Boys, mind your sister while we're away. Candace, try to keep the frantic phone calls to a minimum dear, there's a chance that we might be on national television."

Candace twitched.

Phineas and Ferb happily waved. "Bye, Mom!" Phineas called for the both of them. "See you tonight!"

Their parents left.

Candace twitched.

A long green tentacle reached across the table, grabbed Candace's apple and disappeared back into Ferb's mouth. Candace twitched.

"Ferb." Phineas scolded. "It's not polite to reach across the table like that."

"It's also not polite to waste food." Ferb said primly.

Phineas sighed and shook his head. "The trick is to feed him peanut butter." He advised his sister. "Then his mouth is too sticky to steal your food."

Candace twitched. Ferb shot his brother an impatient look.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm done." Phineas gulped the milk from the bottom of his bowl and stood up from the table. "You've got to be going through another growth spurt, Ferb. You always act like your blood sugar is low when ever that happens. Let's grab a couple more pieces of fruit for you to eat in the backyard while we figure out what we're gonna do today."

"And please make a mental note to eat more for the next few days." Phineas' voice carried as they carried their bowls into the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher before heading outside. "If I wake up during the middle of the night in your stomach again, I'm gonna be really annoyed. It takes _days_ to stop smelling like your digestive juices. Not that I mind terribly much, but it makes Perry jumpy and you know how he gets."

Candace twitched a few more times. Then she finally clenched her hands into fists and waved them at the sky. "AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO ACTUALLY **SEES** WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE?!" She exploded.

Silence.

She glanced down, aware of a set of eyes on her. Perry stared up at her, a somewhat wary expression on his placid duckbilled face.

"Oh, shut up." She muttered, stalking off towards her bedroom. "For all we know, you're some sort of undercover agent for some secret organisation preventing supervillians from suceeding at world domination."

The platypus chirred in response.

-fin-


End file.
